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Archive for August 2009

I'm Confuse

Monday, August 31, 2009 § 0

well, have u ever have a feelin for someone but u can't do anything bout it?

I do. I have a feelin for someone, but I can't do anything about it. No matter how i feel, it just can't happening. Nothing in this whole wide world can let that happens.

This is the first time I have this kinda feelin since matrix era, but what should I do? I should move on, but how? I need a closure, but how? I need to confess, but do I dare? That's the real question.

I'm afraid everything won't be the same after I tell everything. Honestly I already have this person as my friend. I don't wanna lose this friendship. How awkward will it be. Even though that person say "It's ok" but I'm not ok. It must be very awkward. Plus, there will be a sexual tension between us. I'll keep avoiding to see that person. I don't wanna do that. With the awkward and the sexual tension, can we be in the same room anymore?

If we both at the same place, what should we do? Trying to have a relationship? Relationship with no future is not my prospect. A fling is too cruel. That person is a nice people. Fling is not an option for both of us. It won't be fair. But God, if we both at the same place I'm curious to death how we both deal with it. That's something interesting to find out.

But now, I think this is the time for me to move on. Forget about flirtatious energy, forget about signal that both of us sent. I need to be on the track again. I need to start dating again. many fish in the sea and I can't stuck fishing the same fish all over again.

However, if you also in the same place as me, maybe we can work this out. Sometime at nite, I always imagining how romantic us could be. I just wanna hold you close and smell your hair and fell in sleep with you and feel your breath over my body. I wanna wake up with you by my side and watch the sunrise at your face.

I'm confuse...


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Do u agree with the idea of One Night Stand (ONS)? Or would u rather to wait for the perfect guy/girl for u, then u will have sex, or once u met ur perfect BF/GF u'll wait for the right moment for both of u to have sex? Or traditionally (and the most decent and appropriate one) to wait until u get married to have sex.

Some ppl think, sex is just sex. They have sex tonight and never call back. Some think it's just for pleasure and having a ton of sexual partner and no strings attached. And some people think sex is important bcoz it can release negative energy trapped inside one body and having sex buddies (so he/she can have sex anytime anywhere he/she thinks might need it).

For me, talkin based on my experience, sex is not an easy as clicking ur finger. Click click click then u have it, the next thing u know, u humping another person. No. Sex can be very difficult in every way. The hardest part is the morning after. Is he/she gonna call me back? Is she/he in love with me or not? Or sometime u'll think, am I makin the right decision? Does he/she deserve my body? The worst part is when u stuck in this situation with ur friends (or bestfriend). U dunno how awkward it will be. It totally can jeopardise ur friendship, which I totally afraid. Sexual tension between u and him/her won't let u be in the same room anymore until u can manage to handle and get over it.

ONS or havin sex with ur friend is not a wise decision. Try to avoid it. Having a bunch of sexual partner is not healthy physically, mentally and spritually. Try to have sex with the one u think is "The One" not just some people u barely know for several weeks. Decently have sex only after u get married. Believe me, sex without wedding ring can be very regretful.

Jumpak lagi naa....hahahahah

Bukan nak gaduh, tp saja2 nak tulis..hakhakhak...

Sunday, August 30, 2009 § 0

Tadi aku pegi Queensbay, diringkaskan cerita ade member aku antar aku. So dlm perjalanan die kate ade somebody, kita namakan P menulis something tntg aku dlm blog die, membuatkan aku curious nak membaca. Balik2 dari Queensbay aku pun bukak r internet dan membaca blog beliau. Maybe xda masa nak terangkan secara depan2, or sebenarnya aku da malas nak bercakap, so kite jmpe scara on9 ja lah.

yey!!! start a new life.. 2day..... i go 2 class by bus!!!!!!
KS: ceehhh..kekwat ler selama ni naek motor..hahaha..asal weiyh nek bas?

( my explaination, I care bout u. I know u rode motorbike before this, and as known, motobikers or drivers who drive their own car, never know or seldomly know how happy we are using buses in USM, I'm adapt to the prob already and curently having fun with buses in USM. That's expalainin the sentence "ceehhh..kekwat ler selama ni naek motor..hahaha" bcoz I'm sick and tired hearin motobikers and drivers whinin about bus' services in USM and wether u admit it or not, waitin for Bus must be very embarassing for ppl who have their own transportation in USM and I always heard sentence like this when motobikers have to take Bus: "Jgn hairan tau aku naek bas ari nih, motor aku rosak" or "benci la bas kat USM nih" or "bile la member aku nak bagi balik motor nih, terseksa aku naek bas". To make it worst, sometime they relate this probs with MPP. aku pun x nmpk mana perkaitnnya, motor ko rosak, ko naek bas, bas x sampai, pastu salahkan MPP. Suck it, if u have to take bus, stop complaining. That's a general one, but how of this crap relate to you. This bring us to ur next sentence: "yey!!! start a new life.. 2day..... i go 2 class by bus!!!!!!" On ur defence, yeap new life bcoz b4 dis u rode ur motorbike, and it's a new life la when u take bus. It's so typical... Sebab if I'm not mistaken a day before dat, my friend which have his own motorbike say thing like dis to me: "Nape? hairan ke tgk aku naek bas?" and u know, aku ckp ape just b4 dat? aku kate "Hi" je, tp die reply camtu. Aku kesah sgt ke die naek motor? Aku kesah sgt ke die naek bas sampai nak heboh satu bus stop kate aku hairan tgk die nek bas? So typical. Suck it if he have to take bas. So to sum up, on the top of my head, ur sentence is so typical for motobikers yg kne naek bas. Im talkin generally, wether u see it or not. bcoz that what I see. Then I ask u why u have to take bus, that balance my earlier statement, and this shows that I concern bout u. Repeat, I concern bout u.

P: hahahahaha... nama pn start new life.. ak nk mrasa blk ar life cm student len.. bkn slalu ak leh n akan nek bas ni.. maybe de somethg yg ak p'lu baiki o tlg ke.. hi3...
KS: cessss...poyo jek..haha..mentang2 da nak election balik..buat buat baik r tuu..hahahaha..(wooohh ayat..)..haha

so for you, takin bus is starting a new life? not takin bus make u difference from other student? No missy... what make u different from other student is ur position in USM. Takin bus or not takin bus, u still like other student. (in your blog, u explain more but im only intersted with the crap dat we posted in Facebook).
"bkn slalu ak leh n akan nek bas ni." nek bas or not nek bas is totally ur decision. u read again ur sentence and u imagine if im saying crap like dat. doesn't it sound "poyo"? how many time u say some ppl is poyo just bcoz a simple sentence came out from their mouth that show poyoness in their language? me myself millions time acting poyo n talkin poyo, but just bcoz to foolin around with some friends. this show, u can't escape from being poyo sometime. Then im intersted with the next sentence: " maybe de somethg yg ak p'lu baiki o tlg ke.. hi3..." showing that u are being noble wanna help to improve some elements in USM. in term of human or student, all of us are responsible for that kinda behaviour. but for me, u r not just a normal student. U have position, u have priority in USM. Everybody in USM know who u are in USM. Ur pic is melekat in most of the USM notice boards. U can'deny it that u r a bit famaous. Stop being so rendah diri n saying crap like, mane ade aku faymes, sape je yg kenal aku. suck it that u r a famaous icon in USM. Back in history, during my sophomore year, many people askin me, what is MPP's job, what have they done in USM and for those who masak already with politik kampus they ask me, nape waktu nak election je MPP jadi ramah semacam? It's very hard to explain as I'm not MPP and never be an MPP. Then some of them postin in internet (and some of them is MPP's friend or actively MPD student) sayin dat some student who support MPP fully hearted (aku agak terasa gak ngn ayat die ni sebenarnya) sayang nak lepaskan all those privileges they get. during that time aku deny his statement, but when I think on their side, sometime Im just being selfish. yeah, on some level, actually aku suka ngn segala privileges that I get. Unit desa, goin to the convention or prog everywhere, baju2 free, jacket2 free, sijil2, meeting with important people. Ordinary people will only see these privileges, but we org yg terlibat ngn benda2 ni tahu mcm mn terseksanya utk menjayakan sesuatu projek or program. Buta2 pun u know that I'm on ur side and always be on ur side. Now i give choice, u wanna have a supporters that always kiss ur ass or u wanna have supporters that can raise some issue and can see the flaws that u did. once again I'm sick and tired with ass kissers (kaki bodek r tu maksud die).. Please stop kissing anybody else asses, and swear to God I'll never be such an ass kisser. That's my oath. I curse all ass kisser around you and around any important people in USM. then i wrote "hahahaha..(wooohh ayat..)..haha" that shows that I wanna balance the issue that I raise. I expect u will post the real situation, I mean what u wrote in ur blog (baju kurung thingy and everythin) but u get emo.

P: kre ko nk ckp. slama ni ak x wat baik ar eh?? 2 ar.. org ni.. nmpak kalo kte wt jahat jek. yg bek org x nmpk pn. kn..
KS: hahahaha.... emo weiyh..hahahah

At this point nothing i wanna explain, bcoz I'm agree with ur statement... I'm glad that u speak on ur side to the world. biar org nmpk ko punye stand and selar ckit sikap sesetgh org yg hanya nmpk keburukan org je. I'm totally agree n I'm just stated ur situation based on my reading. I sense that u a lil bit emo. Am I right?

P: tgk r ayat ko cne kn... agk t'guris ar ati ak.
KS: alamak..MPP da terasa..abes la aku kne blacklist pasnih..heheh..weiyh sori la weiyh..x sangke lak ko da semakin sensitip skng..hehehe...pasnih aku jage tutur bahasa aku ngn kaw..

Pernah x terpikir on the other side sometimewe (kite2 nih) agak terlalu extreme dlm melabel sesuatu puak? I dun wanna explain lebih2 bab nih. Aku just anggap it's just a simple joke. A joke that show how u guys actually got power. my intention just a joke, but base on real life situation. seriously i dun wanna explain more bcoz i done that oso. All of us, no matter u MPP or not, plz evaluate urself, pernah x korang, sebab kan terasa ngn seseorang or sesuatu puak, korg blacklist or ban dorang? pernah x? dun be such an hipokrit. tolong evaluate sendiri. Then i ask for apologize. repeat i ask for apologize, then i say i wanna watch my language. what else do u expect. then we come to a more serious arguement.

P: aik.. sjak ble lak mpp m'blacklist org ni?? ko ni.. org yg xtaw pape kalo bce msj ko 2 mesti da pk lain.. apa r ko ni..
KS: ye la ye la yelaaa....aku la yg salah... ye laaa....

??? U r flawless when u think that u r flawless. U r omnipotent when u think u r omnipotent. This totally not u. P yg aku kenal b4 dis never care what ppl say. She dun give a damn. If u never blacklist sesiapa, then asal nak takut org fikir lain ngn korang?

If other MPP or ex-MPP nak terasa with my thread, i can't stop u from feelin like that. but before that I just wanna apologize. If u think me, seseorng yg sentiasa berada di sebelah anda sebagai suatu ancaman, then I can't stop u. My message here is, which one u wanna hear more, something bad that i heard from other people, or just an ass kissing sentence. If u wanna me be an ass kissing supporter, pls I rather not supporting any side.

to Miss P, u know me. When people talking ass at ur back, I always tell u the truth. U can accept it or not, depend on u. But if u choose not to hear it anymore, just tell me. I can seal my lips everytime I heard bad things about you. I just wanna forget all of this thread but ur post in ur blog, ppfffff, I can't say that it's not hurting me. But I dun give a damn. Since u posted it in ur blog, why shudn't I? These how I interpret all of these craps...

em.. rupa-rupanya slh kalo nk brubah kat U ni eh..
asalkan 'buat baik' skit, org akan kta kte ada agenda lain...

apa e*** dapat kalo da nak election blk pn?? b'tnding lg ke? haha...

x pernah salah untuk berubah. But quote back sebulan yang silam, I said biar aku jd 'org jahat' n kaw jadi 'org baek'. I really wanna help, but dun expect me to be an ass kisser.

Okey...sampai cni ja kot..hahah..jumpak lagi naa...hahah

The Day I Dye My Hair...

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hOW to start ar? entahlah, some ppl tend to be very bunga2 if they wanna start to write. For me, i dun have specific one, but it's totally depend on my mood. Kalau nak bunga2, bunga2 la aku punya tulisan.. ahahah 2356 hour, just finish chapter 1 physic (Mechanics).. Dunno why I bother to take this course. Since SPM, I never bukak buku fizik, now di thn2 akhir nih terpaksa lak belaja fizik.. huhuhu.. whatever... As mention before, I'll continue sharing my activity during hols aritu.. heheheh.. 18 August 2009, TUESDAY - Suppose I ade janji ngan Matt nak kuar together. then the nite before, since I ran into her at Queensbay, we decided utk x kuar (plus nak jimat duit konon). Stay lam USM jek. But I made promise with her, yg I nak gi trim rambut dat day. She said, OK, if I wanna trim my hair just inform her, she'll accompany me.. Hehehe.. Then at 1pm, I decided nak trim rambut, tp x sure nak wat style apa. I post lam FB saying dat I'm bored already with the same hairstyle.. Got feedback oso la, apparently ppl dying to see me botak..hahah.. maybe next time kot..haha..then I msg Matt and we met at Sungai Dua there. Before p masuk salon tu, we masuk CC first, because I wanna transfer vid ktorang menari aritu. Hahaha, since ktorang da bukak PC, we browse la internet what hairstyle shud I buat after this. Then both of us tertarik ngn Faux-Hawk and highlight. So we decide nak wat faux Hawk, ala2 Beckham gtuu..heheh..
FauxHawk by Becham

Then we masuk la salon tu, duduk jek, suddenly I tanye kalau nak dye berapa ringgit? Stylist tu Kata RM55 jek, so tibe2 aku kate, aku nak dye rambut, kaler brown-red n rambut nak potong pendek. Pastu Stylist tu kate, I potong pendek, tp I bagi stylo ckit kat tengah2 dia...Pas hampir 2 jam lam salon tu, dan Matt dah abis pusin2 n belek2 Magazine, akhirnyaaa... tadaaaaaa... ginilaa rambut baru ku..Kaler x nmpk sgt (just like I want).. tp kalau korg dok dekat, korang ak
an perasan.

Mata kat tepi ya adalah mata Lane..hehe

Lepas abis berambut tu, we're havin our diner kat KFC, since both of us sgt lapar and have no idea nak mkn mana. We order new thingy, shrimp stix. Ceesss...hampeh, lam gambar bukan main besor, sekali bagi, kecik jek rupenye..huhuhu.. Pas makan2, then tiba2 out of sudden we terplan nak g karok..hahah..pas anta brg balik Fajar, we go to BJ utk karok..hahaha..Layan la juga..hahahah.. Last nite kata x nak karok or kuar today. Nak jimat la kunun, sekali, naa amek ko. Dye rambut la, karok la, n the worst part, boleh lagi cari pirate pa lah.. Baeklah, until now, jumpak lagi naa....hahahaha...

berQueensbay with Helen n Mark then ran into Matt n Tina

Saturday, August 29, 2009 § 0

Finally I decided to update my blog after a long time never visits it. At first I just wanna delete it, but then when I read my last post, personally I kinda missing to tell the newest things happen on me.

Bak kata Lis, baeklah. Haha..
We start with story during hols aritu.(I mix kan bahase ek, hopefully pakar2 bahasa x mad at me)..haha..

17th August - 23rd August 2009, USM mid sem break.

Monday, 17th August - I have plan with Poji, my junior. Den it turns out that she cancelled it and I really I wanna go out. Luckily earlier that day, aku tengah bereply comment kat Facebook with my bro, Mark. Out of sudden, I just invite him to join us. Yeah, he's flattered to join us. Then he asks me to invite Helen also. I didn't do so because Helen always dumping me when it comes hanging out. So I'm not so sure. Then Mark personally ask her out and what a surprise, she agreed. So the three of us go out laa, goin to Queensbay. At bus stop, we ran into Persis gang (Dith n the others). Then Matt msg me, she said she wanna watch G.I Joe with us, but we wanna watch District-9. So I made plan to go out again tomorrow with her (actually the plan already made earlier)..haha..

Sesamapai Qbay, we have our late lunch at Old Town. It's so delicious there till I wanna put that restaurant in my Favourite List Restaurant. Helen ate Nasi Lemak, me laksa n Mark as always order both, Nasi Lemak n curry mee (because he can't stand to eat hot and spicy cuisine-laksa). After having our meal, we go singgah in a few store fisrt. We masuk PDI n I thank God I can control myself. I saw this stylo jacket, but I couldn't afford it now. I dun wanna try it on, bcoz I dun wanna get attach, so I put it on Mark. My goodness, call me crazy bcoz he looks fantastic in that jacket. I wanna cry bcoz I can't afford it. I just can see that jacket looks great on Mark, and of course he wanna buy it. Please please please, Mark if you but that jacket can I borrow it sometime?..huhuhu..

Then we masuk plak Forever 21. Helen's store. hahaha.. Me and Mark looks like an idiot in there, bcoz nothing inside there fit us. haha..we just critise any ugly clothes there. haha.. After that we went straight to the Hall n buy popcorn n drink. Honestly, District-9 was a good movie but too many interview. On some level it annoyed me when they talkin too much. But overall, I like it.

After the movie finish, Mark whining said he have to go back. Ada meeting la apa la. But we try really hard to delay him. We bring him into SUB. Also one of my fav store kalau nak nmpk berbeza from 'confused kid' in USM. We just look around n my attention of course kat jacket2. but nothing in there can compare the jacket I saw earlier kat PDI. OMG, am I attached to that jacket already? 

Then around 7.30-ish, Mark balik guna cab. huh, nak kuar pun sibuk buat meeting lagi. Then me n Helen pusing2 Queensbay, where we ran into Matt and his Room mate, Tina. We pusin2 together and masuk several store (mostly women punya store, what can I say). Then rasa lapar, we have our diner kat secret Recipe. Gosh, it's been awhile since I last masuk Secret. Berabis la duit kat ctu. Then otw nak balik we decided to go karok at BJ.. Hahaha, Helen at first dun wanna karok last2 terkarok jugak...hehehe..after karok2, we lepak at Khaleel to minum2. after minum2 we chit chat chit chat until 2.30 pm... haha I like chichatting with them. lama da kot x bercerita ngn geng2 dari Sarawak, especially Helen. If i met Helen, mesti ada gossip yg ktorg akan bualkan..hahah..betol sik Helen?..haha..

Then, I anta Matt back to her hostel in Fajar, when Lane msg me saying she has something to share wif me. then we YM YM until 5..hahaha..topik perbualan terpaksa dirahsiakan..hahaha..but mostly it is about scandal and favourite topic..hehehe..finally i go to sleep at 5..

i think dat's for now..later I cter ape yg blaku the next day naaa...
Jumpak lagi naaa...hahaha

It's been a while

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It's been a long time since last time I'm posting anything..hahah
the next post, i wanna share the story how i spent my holidays n puasa-puasa thing..
Hopefully i have enough fuel to write it..hahah

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